Welcome B movie horror fans! Old Man Feind was bored which sometimes leads to great discoveries and well… other times not so much. Let’s see which kind of gem this one was.
I was bored Saturday so I went looking for some fun B action to perhaps lift my crappy mood. After much searching I decided The Coed and the Zombie Stoner had to at least be funny, right? Perhaps I should have done some research first but no, I blindly forged ahead expecting some National Lampoon-esque, leave your brain at the door fun. However, if I had done a little research first I may have chosen differently. You see our friendly neighborhood director up there one Glenn Miller also directed Sharknado 2. While my partner seemed to enjoy that atrocity I wouldn’t watch if forced at gunpoint. Not having that knowledge I just hit play.
Now I knew just given the title that this wasn’t going to be some highbrow horror flick and it starts out just fine, that is if you like seeing naked chicks run around. Yes, gentlemen we start right out with many bouncing BOOBS! Strap in because I’m sorry to tell you it’s all downhill from there. Unless you’re a 13 yr old boy in his masturbatory prime you’re probably gonna wanna skip this one. Perhaps I’m just in a bad mood (I am) but I don’t think I could be drunk or stoned enough to have enjoyed this under any circumstance.
I have to hand it to writer Scotty Mullen for writing some of the absolute worst puns I’ve ever heard including from the world of porn or Cinemax After Dark. Seriously lame and not funny unless again you’re that 13 yr old boy. Aside from numerous pretty faces and enough nudity to fit right in on Cinemax After Dark there was nothing I found enjoyable about this movie. But what is it all about you ask? Seriously who cares but here’s all you need to know. A science geek coed works late in the science lab discovering her professor’s hidden secret, a zombie. Keeping the humor extremely low brow this zombie was somehow created by accident thinking some convoluted machine in the lab was a shower because he was too stoned to tell the difference. If you’ve ever been stoned feel free to take this as a complete insult because it is. Look we’ve all seen the dumb stoner jokes a million times but this ain’t no Cheech & Chong flick and hell they couldn’t even have saved this one! Anyway the nerdy coed falls in love with the zombie but in doing so causes a zombie outbreak which she later has to cure because she’s fucking magic or something. Magic actually would’ve been more interesting.
I could go on and on but there’s no getting around that I hated this movie. Yes, hated not just disliked. The puns are numerous and atrocious, the acting isn’t any better and the only saving grace is that it ended. Even the blooper reel rolling during the credits sucked. Again perhaps it’s just my shit mood but I honestly never even cracked a smile during this one. I really only kept watching because I was bored and as you can assume The Scribbler Clock Test was failed in grand fashion as I was checking to see how much time was left of this stinker more often than boobies flashed across the screen, that’s a lot if I didn’t make that clear. So do yourself a favor and steer clear of this stinker unless you’re a 13 yr old boy who just discovered his erection.
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Feel free to disagree Scribbler fans as I said I may just have been in too crappy of a mood. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.