Welcome to another Friday review for our partners, The Movie & Music Network, Scribbler horror fans! Don’t forget to stop by and subscribe to their service for about the price of a cup of coffee a month! Their new deal with Amazon means they have some amazing content on its way very soon so get in while the gettin’s good! Also if you have some change in your couch cushions stop by the new 99 Cent Network and build your own awesome movie collection with the awesome deal of 3 movies for 99 cents or 10 for just $1.99! That’s crazy! This week, Feind finds religion at the hands of…
When a movie begins with a giant Warning the following: “Do not show this movie to people who are under 18 years of age. This movie contains material that may be distressing to people who are easily offended, or to people who are brainwashed. Viewer discretion is advised. This movie is art, but it contains nudity, sexual situations, swearing, gore and violence. It’s called “ZOMBIECHRIST” What were you expecting?” You know you’re in for a fun time or if you’re a religious nut watching for the sole purpose of being offended then you’ve come to the right place. This film was also made by Bill Zebub maker of Antfarm Dickhole which was one of the first films Cult reviewed for TMMN as the title alone was too titillating not to check out. I’m a huge fan of blasphemy so I couldn’t resist this again just based on the title alone. So how depraved does Zebub get this time?
Notice that warning of nudity up there? Take note because Zombie Christ starts right out with some nude girls dancing as part of some kind of ritual. A man in robes appears reciting some sort of incantation and Zombie Christ is risen. If you didn’t realize prior to this point, like before hitting play on this movie in the first place, I highly suggest getting a large glass of your favorite adult beverage or perhaps some of the sticky icky as I think Bill Zebub would probably suggest himself. This is not a low budget movie, this is a micro budget film, underground guerilla film making at its finest. If you’re looking for great acting performances that will move you to tears you’ve come to the wrong place though some of the acting may move you to tears anyway. Yeah no one is winning an Oscar here but if you expected that you’re an idiot. Now in general zombie movies are done to fucking death and I’m a little tired of them other than The Walking Dead, of course, but Zombie Christ isn’t your regular zombie or zombie flick. Also hold on because the FX are hilariously bad but, in part, that’s intentional as this is one campy piece of celluloid.
Zombie Christ himself is just freakin’ hilarious. He’s just a skeleton with a crown of thorns similar to what you would think of seeing in any science class. Through the movie you learn some “history” like how Jesus escaped crucifixion living out his days with the Druids plus many other points some of which are real history and some are just filling in the gaps but all that isn’t why you’re watching. What you really get from the undead Nazarene is blasphemy by the truckload and lots and lots of nudity. Seriously, if you like seeing nude ladies you’ve found the right movie because I don’t think the film goes more than a couple minutes without some young lady getting naked usually for no real reason. Oh and for the record Zombie Christ is one horny bastard.
So what can I really tell you about this micro budget gem? Honestly it was a fun watch so I don’t want to give too much away as you just kind of have to see it. Some definite highlights would be the nun scene which may, no, it will change the way you look at a chicken drumstick forever after. Then there’s the punishing of the pedophile priest which should have your belly aching from laughing so hard. This flick was worth watching just for those two scenes alone. Zombie Christ isn’t coming for brains he’s coming for all his ancestors who all seem to be female and all apparently live in the same basic area which is convenient for soul sucking sake. This isn’t like any other “zombie” movie you’ll ever see which was a refreshing change from the norm for once.
In the end Zombie Christ pretty much lives up to that initial warning. Bill Zebub may not have big budgets but he knows how to have fun. If you like blasphemy, bad taste humor and nude women then Zombie Christ is the movie for you. Again I do not suggest watching this movie sober as I don’t think it was intended to be viewed that way in the slightest. The acting and FX are laughable but they’re pretty much intended to be that way as well. In the world of guerilla filmmaking there are few doing it as well as Bill Zebub. Also I have to give a shout out as a metalhead for the awesome soundtrack including Septic Flesh, My Dying Bride and Immolation among many others. There were also several metal related shirts scattered throughout the film from The Misfits to Iron Maiden and Danzig which I always enjoy seeing. Is Zombie Christ the best film you’ll ever see? Hell No! But it really isn’t trying to be. Its 90 minutes of horror & metal fan fun that should be taken as just that, fun. It definitely passed The Scribbler Clock Test and I proudly proclaim Zombie Christ to be…
Just because I like you and Immolation of course!
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What do you think of this extreme celluloid Scribbler fans? Let us know in the comments below.
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Feind loves watching movies of all kinds so if we watch it, we tell whether you should as well. I'll share mostly horror but I also enjoy everything from big Blockbusters to micro-budget Independent films.
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