How should I go forth to scribble on that which is very important? Scream queens have played a very important role in horror in the past fifty years garnering a much larger audience interested in so much more than just whatever chills and ghastly goings on provided in a midnight feature. With the introduction of ‘eye candy’ (for want of a better term) the horror scene has changed dramatically, though the market that doesn’t rely so much on it has also and continues to thrive.
To start things off a long time favorite of mine…
Director: Peter Jackson
Runtime - 93 minutes
Wingnut Films/New Zealand Film Commission
Nothing it seems is going quite according to plan, her role within the Meet the Feebles variety hour (a more than obvious parody of The Muppets containing excessively deviant leanings, debauchery and acts that would make a much younger Clive Barker wince) gets smaller each passing week/performance. Her presence and clout have been diminished to next to nothing, she feels as if people are laughing behind her back. Then upon walking in on her lover receiving oral shenanigans from a cat all her worst fears are realized. It’s enough to tip her over the edge and with the aid of an Uzi (and seemingly an unending supply of ammo) she plummets into wacko-ville.
Originally aiming for a patch of the ceiling directly above her gaping mouth she changes her plans abruptly deciding instead to physically invoke an age old adage made especially famous by a writer in a small town hoping for peace and quiet but instead finding the unwelcome advances of a close-knit, horny, backwoods foursome (in a sordid unflinching feature written and directed by Meir Zarchi).
Unlike most reviews I’ll gladly spoil the shit outta this one.
In a moment of passion Heidi puts to shame Christian Bale in his role as a sharply dressed gunsmith martial artist in an emotion eradicating dystopian society - Equilibrium. In a finale fit to shock even the most hardened of war vets (including the cast’s drug jones-ing frog - a professional knife thrower) she cuts a swath of carnage diminishing the whole cast to naught but ragged piles of crimson rags, characters including but not limited to a gutter porn producing cock roach, the star of the show a bunny who can’t keep it in his pants learning a valuable life lesson as a result and a newborn chicken/elephant hybrid. Yes, it’s that kind of movie!
Bestiality, necrophilia, gutter journalism, Nam flashbacks, A Borox snorting panty sniffing aardvark, a fantastic soundtrack including ‘Sodomy’ a musical number performed by a flamboyant fox and Wobert a shy hedgehog with aspirations to be a star. What’s not to love, but that’s only the half of it!
Screw the ‘out of 5’ rating scale this is a definite must own masterpiece -plucked from the depths of the mind of a cinematic God (sorry I’m a huge Peter Jackson fanboy) - for all those curious types and/or sick puppies out there!
Seriously censors this is a movie centered around the deviant antics of puppets… Puppets!